An umbrella for every occasion

Listening to INCUBUS - Under My Umbrella

When I close my eyes... I can see for miles. When I close my eyes... I remember why I smile. Under my umbrella...

Some people collect normal things....like paperweights!

Others venture into slightly more predictable acquisitions, dependant upon their regional location or recreational tendencies.

Travelers in the American southwest collect little spoons etched with the names of various tumbleweed cities. Italian tourists are hell bent in satisfying their ever growing need for micro-sized versions of Pisa’s leaning tower or Florence’s favorite phallic symbol.

I, on the other hand, (a stand in the elements, public transport brat) collect umbrellas. And while I refuse to label my brelly stash as obsessional, (Insert image of Imelda Marcos’shoe closet here) my ever-growing collection could be construed my some analysts as a bit of a problem.

I don’t collect umbrellas intentionally mind you, and certainly not of my own volition…..but taking a gander into my closet and viewing the ever growing stack, more than one casual observer has been lead to believe that I may have an uncontrollable fetish for the damned things.

The reality though, is that I am absent minded, more so, than usual these days and I keep leaving mine at home, when halfway through the day, the bottom lets out and it begins to rain, cats, dogs, baby elephants, small refrigerators, etc. And although I thought I moved to Rome, the land of fine weather and warm café’s, for the last six weeks, it seems as if I have been mysteriously teleported all the way to Merry Olde London.

Last headcount, the result of being a bear with little brain, I had purchased 13 of the little €4, buy-m-as-you-exit-the-metro-stop buggers since moving to Rome and to anyone who doesn’t travel via ATAC bus, tram, metro etc., this could appear to be a smidge on the obsessive side. I, on the other hand, have decided to consider them my new found and inexpensive fashion accessory. Now….if I can only remember to carry one (instead of just collecting them), have one suitable for almost every social occasion or mood swing.

There is my rainbow colored peace demonstration umbrella_- perfect for whacking George Bush with or perhaps Silvio Berlusconi if I ever get the chance.

There is my basic black “I am a poet, not Mary Poppins” umbrella which is, of course black and very small, not large with a talking beak and which goes remarkable well with my black boots, black skirt, black blouse and black purse (do you detect a theme here????)

There is my “I AM A TOURIST AND I DON’T CARE WHAT YOU THINK ABOUT IT” umbrella, which is a replica of Filippo Brunelleschi’s fabulous Duomo and one that I use when I am feeling whimsical about Firenze and also lend to unsuspecting friends when they forget their own (because I know I will alwaaaaaaaays get it back).

Then there is the Burberry plaid (or at least that is what everyone tells me) designer jobbies that an ex-boyfriend bought for me that I try and avoid at all costs, which, despite all my efforts, never seems to break or get stolen, no matter where I leave it.

There is the plain forest green jumbo umbrella that is great for kissing under or walking hand and hand with your favorite girlfriend window-shopping long after the shops close.

There is my bright neon yellow, “please don’t run over me in the cross walk” umbrella and my equally shocking I-bought-this-at-porta-portese-for-2€ model which even I agree is too cheap and too ugly for more than the most desperate.

Also for those raining sideways days, I often choose my “This is an Emergency!” orange colored, quick folding, ever-dripping metrobus model, designed to let bus drivers see me shivering at the fermata at more than forty paces.

Then there is my discreet, yet professional business umbrella collection, guaranteed to go well with all my work related attire and ranging in color and dimension from discreet gray, to wow! shocking burgundy.

Yesterday we had our first full workday of sunshine in quite some time……….

just hoping the good fortune continues before I succumb to my urge to have a commando green umbrella of the hardened metro warrior variety.